Missing My Dad–Father’s Day Without My Hero
Getting through Father’s Day is gonna be tough this year. That’s because my dad passed away last August. He was pretty much the best dad ever and I’m missing him like crazy right now. I knew the holiday would be hard, just not this hard.
Everywhere I turn there are reminders of the day—reminders that I no longer have my dad with me. The card aisle at the store is tough. The candy aisle is worse (I inherited my sweet tooth from my dad). Even ads on the Internet are bringing tears to my eyes.
I suppose that means I’m lucky that I had a dad who left such an impression. I know that. But the hurt is still too fresh. In hindsight, I wish I had made plans to go be with my mom this weekend (she lives 8 hours away). I wish I had gone to the beach so I could feel closer to him. I wish, more than anything, that he was still with us, though no longer in pain, so I could give him one more hug.
Meantime, click this link for a video on My Dad that I put together in his honor shortly after he passed.
June 17, 2011 @ 8:34 pm
Dear Des, this is one time I can say state, I know how you feel. The Pride and Love you are displaying for Your Dad bring tears. The tears are for you, as I Love You Deeply, and I know the pain with the frustration of not being able
to make better as that is who you are. It is a
Journey Des, that as your doing your daily running to get everything completed suddenly
‘Something’ will remind you of Your Dad. It WILL make you smile even if a tear also is on your cheek. And, even you will slow down and glow in the moment. I wish you many glowing moments,Des and always I am hear to listen.
June 18, 2011 @ 6:16 am
But he DOES still live… Haven’t you seen The Lion King? The father lives on, long after his body fades away, because all that he was is learned (or avoided) by his child. You SHOULD see your mom this weekend. Imagine how much pain the day must cause her!! At least try for an Internet chat or something. Maybe videotape and edit together a movie of yourself sharing some of your most intense, special, treasured, indelible memories of both your parents. When a mother looks in her child’s eyes, she can not help but see the father. That must cause a lot of sadness, loneliness and even a bunch of anger in women all over the world.
You are NOT alone! Honor your father. Give it a shot: Live up to what all he saw in you. Teach others the lessons you inherited from him. Pass him along and grow the effect of his life. Let him empower you, and as impossible as it is: try not to dwell on your loss, but rather, re-focus on your gain. Concentrate on breathing and being grateful, for now. The pain will lessen into an ache, that slowly just becomes a part of you. You live through it and grow into it. But 90% of how you experience this holiday, and his b-day, funereal, anniversary… At LEAST 90% of how you experience the facts of your situation is pure attitude. And the other 10% is the actual circumstances. Hakuna Matata. Leave the past and bring him, and yourself into the now and beyond.