The Power of a Phone Call–and a Brother’s Love
These days, email makes it simple to stay in touch with friends, along with social networks like Facebook and Twitter, but there’s something about a phone call that is so much more valuable to me. It hit me when my older brother called for Christmas. My heart skipped a beat when I heard his voice—almost like I was waiting for some kind of bad news.
I’m one of 10 kids and I talk to most of the others often, but this brother never calls. When I say never, I mean not ever. And I only called him when I needed something. I honest to goodness couldn’t remember one time I had talked to this brother over the phone just to check in on each other, so when I heard his voice I instantly went to what I call catastrophic-mode, searching my mind…who could be hurt…my mom, my sister, why, oh why, would this brother be calling?
He was calling to tell me he loved me. He was calling to say Merry Christmas and he hoped I had a good holiday.
I cry just typing it. Yes, I’m emotional, but most phone calls don’t leave me in tears.
And you know what?
He did it again, less than a week later. And again this morning.
My brother cares and he wants me to know it. Not in an email. Not via text. He picked up the phone, called my number and just wanted to say hello.
I know it sounds so simple, but it moved me to the core.
I’ve always idolized this brother. As a teen he used to tell people he was going to run for President. He was handsome. Charismatic. Loaded with intelligence and personality. And he still is.
But he grew up a few years older and we just ended up feeling more than a few years apart. I always wanted him to know how much he impressed me. I always wanted to impress him, too. I remember being so touched after our father’s funeral when I read a piece I’d written about who my dad was and what he meant to me. This brother told me after hearing it that it was beautiful. He said he knew I was a writer, but he never knew I was so good at it. It was an amazing validation to me. A thousand other people could have said the same thing and it wouldn’t have meant as much.
But even after that we didn’t connect like we could have.
Until now. Until he called. And then called again. The power of a simple phone call. And a brother’s love.
Is there someone who you could move with a phone call? Why not reach out and call now?
January 3, 2012 @ 4:02 pm
How inspirational! Made me want to reach out for my phone and dial…
January 3, 2012 @ 4:58 pm
Very cool. I may have to dial a couple numbers, too. 🙂
January 3, 2012 @ 4:23 pm
Loved this! Shed a few tears myself 🙂
January 3, 2012 @ 4:59 pm
I love the domino effect of his call. Love it!
January 3, 2012 @ 4:30 pm
What a beautiful story, Desiree. I feel the same way when my father calls me to say hello. We didn’t have much of a relationship growing up, but I learned as an adult that he probably didn’t know how to relate to children…at least that’s what I told myself.
I’m glad that you have embraced what is going on now and not trying to figure out why you were not closer as children. It doesn’t really matter at this point. Enjoy the conversations and interactions right here and now. And if for some reason he doesn’t call back in a while, then rest in knowing that he does love and care for you even if he doesn’t show it the way you would.
You are fortunate to have that reconnection. What a lovely gift in the new year! xo
January 3, 2012 @ 4:58 pm
Thanks Erika…I think you are right about him not knowing how to relate. No matter…it’s wise that you’ve embraced it. He’s so lucky to have a daughter like you!
January 3, 2012 @ 4:51 pm
This is what the spirit of Christmas is all about! Too bad that most DON’T keep it up throughout the year. Now that he has called you twice, maybe it will be easier and more natural for you both to pick up the phone and call one another.
Such a blessing!
Bernice
January 3, 2012 @ 4:57 pm
You are right Bernice. My mom says he’s been calling her 2 or 3 times a week since my dad died. It means the world to her, just like it’s meaning so much to me.
January 3, 2012 @ 4:53 pm
What a gift! Sometimes we spend our lives waiting for the other person to reach out first and waste precious time waiting and waiting. Life is short and precious so for your brother to call you means he realized that, even if for a moment. I know I’ll be making a call today to someone I have been waiting to call me. It’s time to give that gift back. THanks for sharing!
January 3, 2012 @ 4:56 pm
YAY! I hope your phone call makes you as happy as mine did.
January 3, 2012 @ 5:15 pm
Wow Des.
This moved me. I have four brothers and there is one in particular who I NEVER EVER talk to unless I am actually in Philadelphia. There are two I talk to periodically and one who is so much younger (in his 20s) and we don’t need to talk! But this brought my oldest brother to mind because I don’t chat with him at all. And we all have gotten away from the phone and it’s a beautiful thing to reconnect in such a meaningful way. I’m so glad you and your brother have touched base once again. Makes me definitely wanna pick up the phone (Uh, after I get off Facebook!) 🙂
January 3, 2012 @ 6:16 pm
So glad Kelly & you have reconnected. I know I don’t talk to my brothers nearly enough. I feel like they are strangers. Maybe I’ll pick up the phone. And there are others that I am waiting to call me – maybe I’ll stop waiting & call him too. You ARE a wonderful writer by the way!
January 3, 2012 @ 6:19 pm
Thanks Jewel! Call them. It might mean as much to them as this meant to me. 🙂 And I appreciate the compliment. 🙂
January 3, 2012 @ 6:32 pm
This is such a sweet post and I am very jealous that your brother cares for you to do that… mine lives two streets over and texts me when he wants something.
I am going to call some family member randomly now 😉
January 3, 2012 @ 6:41 pm
Very cool… funny how jaded I’ve become…when someone calls I half wonder what it is they need. Turns out I was the one committing that crime. 🙁
January 3, 2012 @ 8:21 pm
Love it! I only have one sister but she lives in Connecticut and it always makes my day when she calls. I try to call her once a week but she stays crazy busy and almost never answers.
It’s kind of sad how the phone call has ended up a lost art. I see it in myself though. I would so much rather text or email someone than actually have to talk to them. It’s enabling my new people anxiety on a whole new level. Something to work on.
January 4, 2012 @ 12:22 am
In this day and age of electronics,unfortunately many dont realize how powerful and phone call is. I still love to call…maybe because I am old and my fingers dont work that well anymore….but, alas, children are busy with their own families and realize too late what contact with family is all about….but i still keep calling….I am so glad your brother called you….life goes by too fast and just a phone call can make the difference.. 🙂
January 4, 2012 @ 12:31 am
You are right…there’s just something about hearing a voice on the other end–I can pick up tone, mood, all of it comes through over the phone.
January 4, 2012 @ 4:51 am
I have that on my list of “get your life together” to make more calls and less “techy” connection for communication.
January 4, 2012 @ 2:01 pm
This was such a special message for all of us with siblings. My brother and I are not close, so this hit me on a particularly personal level. Thanks for sharing.
January 5, 2012 @ 1:38 pm
Angela…my brother and I weren’t close either. In fact, same applied with my sisters for the most part. Until my dad died. He fought cancer for years and we went through a lot in that time–fighting over it mostly–but we bonded, too. We still have our separate lives but I think are trying harder to stay connected. Maybe it’s my dad intervening from heaven. 🙂
January 5, 2012 @ 7:30 am
A phone call seems like such a little thing, but it’s the little things in life that often mean the most. My 25 year old niece is about to disable her Facebook page because she misses these type of calls. I’m curious to see if her friends who ‘grew up on Facebook’ will pick up the phone and call.
January 5, 2012 @ 1:36 pm
Yes, Toby, it really makes me want to go through my old address book and look up people I haven’t talked to in ages, just to check in and hear their voice again. My 17 yo son feels the same way about FB but I figured it was a “boy” thing–he doesn’t care for the drama it brings.