Affairs Keep Marriages Together??
Affairs, according to a recent survey, could actually be keeping marriages together.
Yeah, it has me shaking my head, too. But hear it out.
The survey, released by an infidelity website, says after summer holidays both cheating men and women are ready for a break from their marriages, but the break won’t include divorce. 46% of the cheaters surveyed said they planned to make more use of an infidelity website after summer issues within the marriage. But they went on to say they weren’t planning to actually leave their spouse (it doesn’t say what will happen once the spouse realizes they’re being betrayed).
No joke.
Apparently the summer months are hard on marriages. In fact, a new survey by Stowe Family Law reveals that family law attorneys see a spike each year in inquiries about divorce and separation after the summer holidays. In this case, too much time together makes the heart grow fonder–for another.
The information for this article came from “one of the world’s leading discreet social networks for men and women seeking a secret affair”. I’m not naming it because I don’t think it should be promoted. And honestly, it doesn’t need promotion, with the site currently surpassing 3 million members worldwide in more than 21 countries.
I know we all want to be loved and feel loved, but an affair to save the marriage?
That’s a tough one to digest.
I suppose it’s possible. But the problem becomes whether that betrayal can ever truly be overcome. Is it possible to trust again? Assuming they even want to try.
Or are these cheaters playing a game of russian roulette, so to speak, assuming their spouse will never know?
Let me tell you something, folks.
They’ll find out. They may not let on that they know, but they know.
In fact, maybe they’re enjoying a little something on the side, too.
Fair is fair, right?
All for the sake of keeping that ‘marriage’ together.
If, somehow, an affair does keep the marriage together, and the couple can rekindle their passion and love grows because of it, I suppose that’s a good thing. Sure, they’ll have to get over the blame game, but we all know cheaters are created out of unhappy situations. Assuming the married couple can create happiness again, there’s every reason to try.
I do find it ironic that the study doesn’t look at what becomes of the third person involved. Guess that makes sense, too. After all, they were simply a token in the triangle, used to ultimately strengthen the real relationship that mattered, whether it was intentional or not.
We’ll just call that karma.
September 5, 2013 @ 11:29 am
Seriously? I say NO WAY! I totally do believe the comments about too much togetherness! My husband works at home and drives me nuts that we are with each other 24/7. So, take a break from each other, not by having an affair, but take a week away with a girlfriend (for the woman), a guys weekend, even a girls or guys night out. But for them to sound like they “justify” affairs because of summer togetherness? Just an excuse for cheating idiots (I would like to use another word here, but will keep it clean!). Just MY opinion.
Sue
September 5, 2013 @ 12:14 pm
Sue…I love your opinion. I agree…there are ways to ‘take a break’ without breaking your vows.
September 5, 2013 @ 1:01 pm
When I think about an affair (not having one) I think of the children involved. If you are the cheating spouse or the person cheating with the married spouse, chances are, you are playing a part in ruining a child’s life. Do you really want to be *that* person, just because you are bored or tired of your wife/husband and want to have an affair? Children do not deserve to have their mother or father (physically or emotionally) ripped away by a 3rd party. It seems to me that if a couple just waits it out or goes to therapy or tries methods such as 100% honestly and not having an affair, that maybe they’ll make it! I don’t understand how any website can condone having an affair by offering “secret affair” services. UGH!
September 5, 2013 @ 2:51 pm
Great points Alicia… and I can say, anyone who isn’t considering the children has to be incredibly selfish. To let sex–which is really what it’s all about when it gets physical anyway–interfere with a marriage seems so ridiculous. If you could look your kids in the eye and tell them you had sex with someone other than your wife, your teaching them it’s ok to do the same to their spouse…or worse yet, for their spouse to do the same to them.
September 5, 2013 @ 1:11 pm
Karma indeed! It’s not the actual sex, but the intimacy that is shared with another outside of your marriage. Cheating in my house would end in divorce. Just sayin’
September 5, 2013 @ 2:52 pm
Understood. And I believe most people feel the way you do. So who are these cheaters?
September 5, 2013 @ 5:30 pm
Then why even get married??? Makes no sense
September 5, 2013 @ 6:22 pm
Great question. Somewhere along the line there was love… then it fizzled. Maybe someone else along the way helped rekindle that love. Not saying it’s right. Just possible.