What New Dads Need To Know When Baby First Arrives; Father’s Day Advice From New Moms

There’s no doubt gender roles are changing in America, with more and more dads taking on the roles that moms traditionally held, but for the most part, women are still expected to handle the majority of the childcare responsibilities. Well, on this Father’s Day, we asked for new moms to give a little advice to the new dads out there about what those dads need to know in their new role, and one tip was universal: please help!

Moms need you…actually, your babies need you…so please, don’t be afraid to jump in and handle diaper duty for a bit, and remember, your wife is figuring things out, too. Imagine how much better it will be for both of you—and the baby—if you figure it out together!

Here’s a list of some of the suggestions left behind by the moms who entered our Father’s Day giveaway contest, advice that all dads can use, not just new dads.  Feel free to share this with others…there are some really great ones in here:

A Barton:
I suspect that my husband is going to struggle with saying NO to our children. Setting boundaries will make for happier kids.

Mariaelena D.:
For the new dad, take the advice of the mommy when they leave you alone with baby. Sometimes mom knows a little more in certain aspects so listen first instead of saying “I got it, I got it!” Plus it makes the mom feel a little more confident leaving the baby with dad.

S Lee :
My advice: you don’t have to have it all figured out. Just be yourself and love your best

Christine J.:
My best advice with multiple children is to get to know the differences with personalities right off the bat. Know that each child will need something different as far as care goes and to try new things if something is not working.

Marie C.:
I think that new dads can feel really insecure. They shouldn’t!

Holly D.:
I think the best advice for a new dad is to do their best to help out and give mom a break.

Alexandra :
Be your woman’s biggest support, we need it now the most, offer to help, & do not be scared!

Kris W.:
My advice is to be a supportive partner to mom.

Svitlana:
Remember to buckle up baby!

M271:
Advice for people that know new dads is to praise them too for helping to take care of the baby, their wife etc. Let them know they are doing a good job. It is quite a lifestyle adjustment for the whole family to bring a newborn into the household and everyone needs encouragement and support. My husband has helped me so much with our new baby boy. We both had to learn how to fit into our life again with a newborn. There were some struggles along the way but by working together, encouraging, supporting and helping each other it has brought us and our little family even closer together. So in love with my husband and new little boy.

Laurie:
My advice to new dads (and moms) is to take the help that is being offered. When in doubt, ask!!

Amanda:
I think they just need to relax and realize these little ones are not as fragile as they think they are!

Kassie K.:
My advice is change as many diapers as possible, your wife will need time to recover and it’s one task you can take on with little training, allowing your partner a break. Do not be afraid to ask for help!! Have daddy and baby time, whatever it is (story time, bath time, feedings, etc.) find something that only you and baby do together. It will only intensify your bond.

Audrey A:
Be present in every moment, don’t be afraid to get in there and just do it… your partner will love you all the more for changing your first diaper and every diaper after that, giving her a chance to shower while you hold baby, watching you enjoy those precious first moments with your new little one.

The Energizer Mommy:
Follow your instincts, you know more than you think!

Casey H:
I think new dads just need to know that being a father will be their greatest accomplishment and proudest endeavor.

Christina P:
My advice would be to support each other, learn together, trust your instinct, love unconditionally, spend as much time possible with your little one, every second counts (dishes and house cleaning can wait). And “very important” never turn your back to your little one when bathing them it really only takes a second for something tragic to happen. Same rule applies for pool, lake etc.

Ruchy B:
My advice to new dads is that while things may be stressful at first (no sleep, readjusting schedules around the baby….) know that it does get easier and babies grow up fast and try to video as much as possible!

Samia:
Being a parent for the first time brings its share of joy and responsibilities and there is nothing more rewarding then to experience the birth of the child. My advice to all dads is that there will be ups and downs, you might make some mistakes but don’t be afraid. As much as scary it sounds to take care of an infant, they will teach you a lot of patience, sense of protectiveness, responsibilities and many more hidden skills that you never realized you had(Diaper Changing Skills , How to hold the baby, etc). Don’t be afraid to make mistakes because we will learn how to be parents – No one is perfect! And remember Children have that ability to take the best out of you! Spend time with your wife and children because you will cherish them for the rest of your life. You cannot buy your child’s smile, you cannot buy the first time they try to cuddle and put their head on your shoulder (A lot of priceless moments) Be there for those moments! Take one step at a time – You will learn to do everything
Above all – Always remember that you are there as two people to take care of that bundle of joy! Share your thoughts and worries. Be there for your wife and she will always be there. All moms want from their husbands is that they hold their hands and say we are in this together! Be as supportive as you can because yes you will have people around you to take care but the support that a husband can give nobody else will be able to give that support and comfort! Parenting is sometimes overwhelming for both parents but by just being there for one another you can sail through it

Kaeleigh K.
My advice to a new daddy is this; find one thing you love to do with your baby (bath time, reading before bed, ect.) and try and do that daily with your little one, it not only gives mommy a much needed break even if it’s just a little bit but I promise she’ll LOVE watching you bond with your baby and LOVE the down time

Marilyn:
This is the time to ask for extra support from family and friends willing to give it! This could be babysitting or just being on the other end of the phone when you need to let off steam.
If you live with your baby’s mum, make sure you take it in turns to see to the baby at night, so you both get some sleep and all the responsibility isn’t on one of you.
Be as hands-on as you can be – change nappies, read stories, play games – so you get to have that bonding time with your baby.
When the baby’s been settled for the night or taking a nap, is usually the time parents are rushing about trying to do all the cleaning up and getting things ready for the next day. Try to use some of this time to just be together doing the things you did when it was just the two of you – from watching TV to having a chat (or a moan…)
Even if you’re back at work, try to take on a share of the housework to give your partner a break.
The sooner you have a go at the everyday things – changing nappies, bathing, cuddling at ‘crying time’ – the less intimidating they will be. Know that your partner is new to this too – don’t assume she has all the answers.
Let your partner know that you want to share the responsibilities with her, to reassure her that you care.
Prioritize activities – if your baby is keeping you up all night, make sure you rest when you get a chance.
Take one step at a time – you can’t know everything and you won’t get everything right the first time.

Melissa H:
New Dads need to know to let Mom sleep when ever they can and that babies are much less breakable than you think!

JaCobi S.:
My tip for new dads – be prepared for some unexplainable tears from the new mom…there is nothing to fix, just be a support and comfort to her.

And advice from us at StressFreeBaby: More than anything, we just want you to be there for us and the baby.  That may mean handing us the baby to nurse in the middle of the night or just telling us we still look beautiful, even if we know you’re stretching the truth.  Our hormones will be all over the place and we may be bossier than you’re used to, but if you stop trying, or stop caring, it will start building cracks in our family that you may not be able to fix later.  This should be the beginning of our dreams coming true, not the beginning of the end.  We love you, and the baby.  The more you show your love, the more we’ll want to love you right back. And that’s the way it should be.