Celebrating More than 50 Years of Love

She told me that as she walked down the aisle, she thought she’d be lucky if the marriage made it five years.

She was wrong.

My mom.

She was very wrong.  She and my father would have made it to 50 years—and beyond—if cruel cancer hadn’t stolen him from us.  He tried to make it to that marital milestone—he fought like hell, torturing himself with medicines that he hoped would be a cure—with the single goal of surviving to celebrate half a century married to his one true love.

December 2^nd will always be their anniversary to me, even if he’s no longer around to celebrate it.

They were my role models for love.

He could tell you until the day he died exactly what the moon looked like on the night they met, the outfit she was wearing.

He existed to make her happy.

It’s true.  If she wanted it, he did everything he could to make it happen.

And she loved him right back, with everything she had to give.

Neither one of them had very good examples of a loving marriage when they were kids. But somehow, they figured out how to blend lives and braid it into something beautiful, creating five children of their own, adopting five others and caring for dozens more as foster parents.  They knew what it felt like to lack love as a child and never wanted us to feel the same.

What they had wasn’t magical.  It was real.

They fought like crazy during certain tough times together, but somehow made it through to the other side, loving each other more than ever.

I wish I could say the same for myself.

I think in a way, their marriage ruined me.  I ignorantly thought every man would be as good to me as my father was to my mom.  I thought every man would be as faithful, as generous, as patient, as kind—even through the crazy days, and they certainly had their share of those.

But not every man is like my father.  It’s not even fair to make the comparison.

And, heaven knows, I’m not my mom.  Not even close.

So, on this day, December 2^nd, I salute them and the love they shared, the kind of love that lasts five years plus 50 more, the kind of love built on much more than luck.